tweed blazers : the cargo pants of academia


who doesn’t harbor a tiny bit of judgment in their souls for the tweed-clad academics who frolic around the nearest quadrangle all tweedy & nerdhot? a tweed blazer says : I’m smarter than you B*tCh & my ability to pull off this jacket proves it. tweed, to me = all form & no function.

experiment : appropriate academic menswear

: purchased essential experiment element for $5 from thrift store in the absolute sketchiest part of town (adventure for this express purpose) & took it for a spin around the quad accompanied by navy fairisle & matching moleskine. perambulated a treelined path & smoked marlborough lights to break it in. pockets that I thought were merely decorative proved to be more than adequate to hold cigs/lighter/notebook/pen/cellphone & then some.

trip 2 : tested the limits of the pockets, found that I could go out without a bag of any kind & have more than enough stuff. noted that full pockets did not add bulk, determined that extreme hottness of body found in many tweed-wearing male academics is an illusion bestowed by the blazer.

trip 3 : took the blazer out on the town : library, coffee date, party & after-party. loved having hands free from carrying a purse as it allowed more freedom for activities such as : opening beer bottles, roasting marshmallows, dancing to lady gaga, smoking. discovered that one can very legitimately watch a disney princess movie while wearing a tweed blazer, which was the final determining factor.

conclusion : tweed blazers abound in academia b/c they’re *%^&#!~ awesome. they completely eliminate the need for bags of any kind (carry your books B*tCh3$zz, that’s what your arms are for) & are totally hot.

girls, don’t let the boys have all the fun while we trudge about campus like packmules full of purses. you can keep your lip gloss in your blazer-pocket.

 

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